I miss my Mom so much. It has been 5 years since she’s passed and I am always amazed when I come across an everyday situation and I still go to pick up the phone to call her. I hate that it took my getting older and having kids to have all these big aha moments. I finally get what she was “ranting “about all those years. At least I thought it was ranting when I was a kid. Now I get it and know it was just her frustration of having to repeat herself over and over again day in and out.
So tonight, I was picking up after everyone and I started to talk to myself. I do this often, I think because I know I am listening and no one else ever seems to… I was talking about everyone’s stuff and wondering why I need to be the one to find a home for all the stuff. The stuff that gets left on the counter, the table, the floor, the stairs, the desk, the couch and all the other places I find stuff. It’s usually not the important things like money. It's some papers or mail, maybe an old receipt or half a pack of gum. Sometimes it’s part of a toy or a doll shoe. I find 1 sock or 1 glove maybe it’s clean and maybe not so clean. The stack of school papers that no one knows if we should keep them or throw them away. I can’t forget about the dictionary that someone used but no one knows who used it. How about shoes… I find them all over. It doesn’t matter if I have a shoe box near every door in every room in the house; they still leave them in the middle of the floor, on the stairs and once in a while under a bed. It drives me crazy to be the keeper of the stuff. The funny part is when they need their stuff they expect me to know exactly where it is because it’s not where they left it and suddenly I am the bad guy for moving it!!!
I only have 4 kids and I have trouble keeping track of the stuff in my home. I can’t imagine how my Mother who had 8 kids felt. I stop and think I can’t believe I had the nerve to think my Mom was “ranting” without cause. I so wish I was able to tell her how sorry I am that I didn’t recognize that she had every right to be upset and that I know exactly how she felt. As rewarding as it is to be a Mom it can be very challenging and frustrating at times. But for me I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I just wish my Mom was here to laugh at me and give me her take on how she felt. She would offer me some wise piece of advice to make me feel better and help me understand that “this to will pass my dear” and she would touch my face gently. My Mom would tell me that 1 day I too will look back and miss having everyone and their stuff around me so I should try to enjoy it while I can.
What I would give today to be able to hear her “ranting” just once more about everyone else’s stuff….
me too....
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