What my Dad taught me about narrow minded people!

Why are some people so narrow minded?  This is one of those questions I have asked myself many times.    

I recently had someone I ‘m very close to call me because they were upset about this very situation, only they didn’t realize this was the problem.  What got this person so upset was that he couldn’t help but take the comments of a few narrow minded individuals personally.  Believe me; I understand his feelings and reasons for being upset.  We or at least I pride myself on my concern for others and my ability to help people.  I also try to be very knowledgeable and completely educate myself on the choices I make personally and professionally and so does this person. In fact it shows in the way he lives his life.  So when people he thought trusted him, knew him and knew that his motives are never selfish rejected his help and his genuine concern for their well being he was deeply hurt.  What he was unable to see at first, because he was so hurt, was that it wasn’t him they were trying to reject.  It's that they can’t see beyond themselves and they have no ability to believe in or trust what they cannot be open to.  So when he suggested something to them that was out of their comfort zone and not conventional, all the trust and respect they have for him was diminished by their own narrow minded thinking. 

So what do we do when we are faced with this sort of problem from our friends and loved ones???  For me I just feel sorry for them and allow myself to go through the emotions I’m feeling.  I try to be sure to end my contact with that person about the subject at hand in a positive note and move on.  That last part, to move on is key!!  See for those of us in the business of helping people or who are sometimes irresponsibly generous and helpful to most of the people in our lives, we need to remind ourselves that it’s not about the 1 or 2 people who refuse to be open to what we have to share.  It's about those people who need us, who respect us, who trust us and are open to receiving a good, kind, smart and generous person in their lives.   

My dad, who was the most generous and kind person I have ever known told me this..  “Most people just don’t get it!  You can lead a horse to water but you can’t force him to drink!”  It took me many years to really get what he meant but his wisdom is simple and timeless.  Over the years I have learned that I can’t stop leading people, I just need to lead more people because you will always win some and you will lose some but the ones you win are far more rewarding when compared to the few that are lost…..

The little & thoughtful things mean the most!

I really miss my kids and my husband.  There’re away from me because they’re visiting family before the holidays.  I wish I was traveling with them but not this time.  I’m always challenged when I’m away from them but even more so when I think about my whole life in a minivan more than 700 miles away from me.  Maybe It’s just that I am overly emotional or maybe because I have a big Italian family and many sisters who I am very close too…..  It could be that those 5 people in the minivan really are my whole world.

I was reminded of how little and thoughtful things that someone does for you can mean so much.  Nick, my husband, knows me so well.  I don’t think he realizes just how well.  Being the overly emotional person I am I knew I needed to keep busy as soon as they left or the tears may never stop flowing?  Of course I went upstairs to the kids’ rooms to strip the beds so I could wash everything while they were gone.  As I pulled the blankets and sheets off the beds I found a card labeled Mom.  It was an amazing card with a recording of my kids joyfully and loudly singing Deck the Halls.  My sad tears turned into a big smile with happy tears.  Later that night I took a bag out of my closet with gifts I needed to sort and wrap.  At the bottom of the bag was a very silly card that made me laugh and smile again.  Just before I went to bed Nick and I spoke on the phone. I thanked him for my cards and we laughed together as I told him how and when I found them.  When we hung up I was feeling a little sad that he wasn’t going to be beside me.  When I turned down the covers I found another card.  A simple and sweet message of love and miss you.  It was much easier to sleep after having read those words.  You would think that was the end… but it wasn’t I found 1 more the next day in the drawer with my hair dryer. 

Is that the end of the cards?  I ‘m not sure but what I am sure of is that I have been so blessed.  I’m also sure Nick wanted to surprise me and help me keep from missing my kids so much.  What I don’t think he realized was that the cards brought me back to a very happy time when we were dating and just starting to get to know each other.  Nick has always been and still is very thoughtful and kind but over the years life has happened so fast that we don’t seem to make time for the little things that we used to do for each other.  The little things that made us smile often.  It was nice to be reminded of how much my husband and kids love me, but even nicer to be reminded of just how much I love them. 

Recently I was told how hard I am to buy a gift for.  I thought to myself “that’s crazy I like a lot of things”.  But now as I think about it, maybe I seem hard to buy a gift for because it’s not about what I want, it’s about what I already have.  As long as I have Nick and my kids I have it all.  What else could I need???

Try to remember to leave a short note or a card for someone you love when they least expect it.  It could be exactly what they need or at the very least it will make them smile.